lately, i've been struggling with trying to figure out why it is that i struggle with relationships and post-relationships so much. typically, i can come at things so very level-headed. i am doing better in college than i ever have before. i'm on committes and honoraries and councils and i'm enjoying it greatly. i'm losing weight and eating healthy and exercising daily. i have amazing friends and a booming social life. i have an amazing job. throw a wrench in my spokes and i'll pull it out, use it to fix the bike and go merrily long my way.

but when it comes to love and relationships, i crumble. i know i'm not the only one; countless others experience the exact same thing. i see my girlfriends and other women struggle with relationships. it makes me wonder: why is it that we can champion every other aspect of our lives but still not have even a slight grasp on relationships?

today i realized, though, that relationships are hard because there really are no rules. in the professional world, there are steps to take and rules to follow. take the first step and follow the rest...play by the rules and you will advance. although there might be the occasional small or large bump in the road, it's all fairly linear.

when it comes to relationships, however. the rule book is thrown out the window. hell, there never was a rule book in the first place. on top of that, you are dealing with matters of emotion and heart--delicate, complicated things. so we are left with a curvy, complicated road with large stakes. one wrong turn and your heart can be broken. we can listen to the sage (and not so sage) advice of those who have gone before us, but as a new york times contributer recently told me,

"The fact of the matter is that no one really knows what they're talking about when it comes to love; we can only share our own experiences and hope that someone relates. There is no "figuring it out," just discussing and working through and trying to do it differently the next time."

and it's true. maybe some rules would help. then again, maybe that's what makes relationships unique. then again, that's what makes them so difficult.

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